I won't be making any New Year's resolutions this year. I've decided that any positive thing I resolve to do from now on, I'll be doing for the rest of my life, not just for 2012.
Tonight, as I sit here and write this post, I resolve to continue to seek God's will for my life so that I can continue to walk out my destiny, in Him. The challenges that the new year brings may be familiar or completely new. Either way, it doesn't really matter. I am confident in God's ability to take care of me. You see, I've learned that the curve balls that life throws at me don't necessarily have to cause me to strike out. Unprepared though I may be, nothing takes God by surprise!
There are a few things that I will commit to doing from now on, as well. I will commit to riding in the passenger seat and letting God take the wheel. I will try not to get ahead of Him, even when I think things are moving along too slowly. I will not allow doubt or fear to immobilize me and cause me to fall out of step with my destiny. I will continue to trust Him even when the unthinkable happens. I will continue to place my hope in God and expect His beauty in place of any ashes that I find along my journey.
This moment holds the beginning of the rest of your life too. What are you committed to doing (or not doing) in the interest of discovering and walking out your destiny?
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Go There, But Don't Stay!
In the words of Kirk Frankin some days do feel like givin' up days, but even those days will pass. This past week has been difficult for me. Monday night was an especially difficult night for my daughter. I'm not sure why, but getting through homework was so hard! She had several meltdowns and just couldn't seem to stay in control of her emotions. After 3 and a half hours, I had to insist that she stop trying to do the work and go to bed, knowing that a fresh start in the morning would do her some good.
She hasn't had an episode like that in a long time. It was hard to see her like that; angry with herself and with me because she couldn't get her answers right one moment, and reduced to tears and sobbing in the next. Back and forth she went... I stopped her and asked her to be still and quiet. I prayed aloud for the peace of God to cover us both. I hugged her and told her that although the evening had been tough, she would feel better in the morning. Before we went upstairs to bed, she was calmer, even a little talkative. Maybe she was just tired... I don't know what the trigger was, but I'm glad that homework for the remainder of the week was much better!
There are going to be days like this for all of us. I guess the key to moving beyond them is to keep trusting and believing that God wants to give us His best. On a brighter note, things have been better for me for the past few days, but some who are close to me still hurt at this hour. One doesn't even know he's hurting and wounded and in need of God's deliverance and the other can't seem to catch a break on any level! I can't figure any of it out though, so I guess the best thing to do is to pray for them both, turn their situations over to God, and trust Him. I don't have any answers or explanations, but I will be here to love and support them both, and God will too.
If today feels like one of your givin' up days, I encourage you to hold on to your faith and don't let go! God really is in your corner!
She hasn't had an episode like that in a long time. It was hard to see her like that; angry with herself and with me because she couldn't get her answers right one moment, and reduced to tears and sobbing in the next. Back and forth she went... I stopped her and asked her to be still and quiet. I prayed aloud for the peace of God to cover us both. I hugged her and told her that although the evening had been tough, she would feel better in the morning. Before we went upstairs to bed, she was calmer, even a little talkative. Maybe she was just tired... I don't know what the trigger was, but I'm glad that homework for the remainder of the week was much better!
There are going to be days like this for all of us. I guess the key to moving beyond them is to keep trusting and believing that God wants to give us His best. On a brighter note, things have been better for me for the past few days, but some who are close to me still hurt at this hour. One doesn't even know he's hurting and wounded and in need of God's deliverance and the other can't seem to catch a break on any level! I can't figure any of it out though, so I guess the best thing to do is to pray for them both, turn their situations over to God, and trust Him. I don't have any answers or explanations, but I will be here to love and support them both, and God will too.
If today feels like one of your givin' up days, I encourage you to hold on to your faith and don't let go! God really is in your corner!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
How dare you?
If you're like me, you probably have memories of being dared by someone to do something really outrageous when you were a kid. "I dare you to walk down the street backwards, with your eyes closed" or "I dare you to sneak out of school with me" are the kinds of dares that my friends and I exchanged. Sure, they seem silly now, but back then, backing down from even the silliest of dares somehow (at least in our young minds) made us less worthy of the friendship and respect of our peers.
Still, as silly as they were, those dares helped to build my courage and my confidence in my own ability. As I confidently rose to each challenge, I gained the respect of my peers. I didn't realize it then, but I was also learning to recognize and respect my own inner strengths. I learned to respect the voice in my head that cheered me on and assured me that I could do anything that I set my mind to.
So, how dare you? Do you dare look within to find your inner strengths and unique abilities? Do you dare set reasonable expectations for your child or loved one with a disability, in spite of what you've been told he or she cannot do? Do you dare trust God to guide your steps, no matter how difficult your journey?
Daring ourselves to venture out on our faith every now and then is a good thing. Faith will either remove the "mountains" of life from our paths, or give us the strength to climb them. If you have to climb a "mountain" in order to get past it, try to learn some things along the way. God will be there with you. Allow Him to keep molding you into the vessel that you were intended to be. Go ahead....I dare you!
Still, as silly as they were, those dares helped to build my courage and my confidence in my own ability. As I confidently rose to each challenge, I gained the respect of my peers. I didn't realize it then, but I was also learning to recognize and respect my own inner strengths. I learned to respect the voice in my head that cheered me on and assured me that I could do anything that I set my mind to.
So, how dare you? Do you dare look within to find your inner strengths and unique abilities? Do you dare set reasonable expectations for your child or loved one with a disability, in spite of what you've been told he or she cannot do? Do you dare trust God to guide your steps, no matter how difficult your journey?
Daring ourselves to venture out on our faith every now and then is a good thing. Faith will either remove the "mountains" of life from our paths, or give us the strength to climb them. If you have to climb a "mountain" in order to get past it, try to learn some things along the way. God will be there with you. Allow Him to keep molding you into the vessel that you were intended to be. Go ahead....I dare you!
Friday, November 25, 2011
We Give Thanks
So, exactly how does the verse go? Is it "...in everything give thanks..." or is it "...for everything give thanks"? I don't have my bible here with me at the moment, but I'm pretty sure that its "in everything give thanks". I have to be honest and tell you that I don't always feel thankful. There, I said it. On nights that homework turns into a 3+ hour ordeal or those mornings when I realize that I've heard myself say "please put on deodorant" at least 10 times, I don't feel thankful. When I was told that my daughter had autism, I didn't feel thankful. When strangers in stores and restaurants gave us angry stares because my daughter was too loud or too busy for their taste, I didn't feel thankful. Tired, frustrated, irritated and discouraged would be more fitting descriptions of how I felt at those moments.
I've come to realize that God expects me to cycle through emotions like these because I am human. Because I know that He loves and understands me better than I do myself, I've let myself off the hook for having these feelings at times. Cycling through strong emotions like anger, fear, sadness and joy is a normal part of being a parent/caregiver of a child with a disability. In fact, many of us will cycle through these emotions over and over again as our children grow up. At each age, our children will meet important milestones in their development but with those successes come reminders of the milestones that they have not reached or may never reach. Every time that this happens many parents cycle through the emotions of fear, anger, hopelessness and sadness again and again. Knowing in our hearts that all things are possible with God doesn't mean that we won't feel a twinge of emotions like these every now and then. What's important, however, is that we don't allow emotions like these to overtake us and dictate how we interact with and plan for our children.
One of the keys to successful "faith-parenting", is finding things about your child and your family to celebrate and be thankful for. Thought not always obvious, there is always something to be thankful for. Maybe its the way your child smiled at you when you hugged him or her goodnight. Maybe its the reassuring hug that your spouse gave you without you having to utter a word about how tough your day had been. Maybe you're thankful because your child is finally sleeping through the night. For me, some of my simplest joys have come from "the little things" that have happened in our lives. For example, I can remember being very thankful that my daughter had lost her fear of other children and was beginning to make friends in pre-school. I can also remember being VERY thankful for a "Pat the Bunny" videotape that we'd checked out from our local library. Who knew that it would put an end to the daily 2-3 hour tantrums we'd become accustomed to when she was young? We decided to purchase the videotape eventually and I think that we played it until it literally fell apart :)! My daughter loved the songs on that tape and would ask us to play the tape for her at least twice every day. We were all too happy to oblige!
We can use our faith to continue to give God thanks for all that He has done, in spite of any difficulties that we may be going through. I've often prayed and told God that even though I couldn't see how He was working things out for my good, I was thankful that in the midst of whatever I (or my family) was going through, He was still there. So while I may not have been expressing thanks for the actual circumstances, I was thankful for the blessed assurance from God that He is an ever-present help in the time of trouble.
Faith believes and expects the impossible!
I've come to realize that God expects me to cycle through emotions like these because I am human. Because I know that He loves and understands me better than I do myself, I've let myself off the hook for having these feelings at times. Cycling through strong emotions like anger, fear, sadness and joy is a normal part of being a parent/caregiver of a child with a disability. In fact, many of us will cycle through these emotions over and over again as our children grow up. At each age, our children will meet important milestones in their development but with those successes come reminders of the milestones that they have not reached or may never reach. Every time that this happens many parents cycle through the emotions of fear, anger, hopelessness and sadness again and again. Knowing in our hearts that all things are possible with God doesn't mean that we won't feel a twinge of emotions like these every now and then. What's important, however, is that we don't allow emotions like these to overtake us and dictate how we interact with and plan for our children.
One of the keys to successful "faith-parenting", is finding things about your child and your family to celebrate and be thankful for. Thought not always obvious, there is always something to be thankful for. Maybe its the way your child smiled at you when you hugged him or her goodnight. Maybe its the reassuring hug that your spouse gave you without you having to utter a word about how tough your day had been. Maybe you're thankful because your child is finally sleeping through the night. For me, some of my simplest joys have come from "the little things" that have happened in our lives. For example, I can remember being very thankful that my daughter had lost her fear of other children and was beginning to make friends in pre-school. I can also remember being VERY thankful for a "Pat the Bunny" videotape that we'd checked out from our local library. Who knew that it would put an end to the daily 2-3 hour tantrums we'd become accustomed to when she was young? We decided to purchase the videotape eventually and I think that we played it until it literally fell apart :)! My daughter loved the songs on that tape and would ask us to play the tape for her at least twice every day. We were all too happy to oblige!
We can use our faith to continue to give God thanks for all that He has done, in spite of any difficulties that we may be going through. I've often prayed and told God that even though I couldn't see how He was working things out for my good, I was thankful that in the midst of whatever I (or my family) was going through, He was still there. So while I may not have been expressing thanks for the actual circumstances, I was thankful for the blessed assurance from God that He is an ever-present help in the time of trouble.
Faith believes and expects the impossible!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Yet Will I Trust Him!
Seven weeks ago, I suddenly lost about 95% of the central vision in my left eye. At first, I thought that my vision loss was a complication of the type 2 diabetes that I was diagnosed with in 2005. Within 48 hours, my loss of vision was so significant, that I had difficulty doing my job, driving in the rain and driving at night. "What is going on?", I wondered. I was seen by my eye doctor twice in as many days. During my second visit, she referred me to a retinal specialist and told me that I had something called macular edema. Being the researcher that I am, I rushed home to google the condition and discovered that it was considered by many to be a pretty big deal. Some articles said that vision loss associated with the disorder was usually permanent. Other articles said that the opposite was true. Yikes! I decided to pray and wait until I saw the specialist a week later to see what his exam revealed.
On the third day of my vision loss, I got an email from a woman at my church. She was planning the children's activities for our upcoming week-long Campmeeting (revival) and she wanted to know if I could come by the church on the following Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon to help prepare some of the children's activites. It was the last sentence of her email that got my attention. It said, "Meet me in the Hall of Miracles if you can make it." The Hall of Miracles (HOM) is a large
multi-purpose/activity room in our church, located on the second floor at the top of a spiral staircase. "Meet me in the hall of miracles", I muttered to myself. Surely God knew that I was in no condition to help with a craft activity. After all, I could hardly see out of my left eye! It was then that I saw the email for what it really was. I considered it to be an invitation from God Himself to shift my focus from the problem with my eye to finding out what He wanted me to put my hands to in spite of the eye problem. Instantly, I became excited and could hardly wait for the following Tuesday to arrive.
When Tuesday came, it brought with it a monsoon-like storm that prevented me from being able to drive to the church. I was disappointed, but vowed that if if didn't rain the next day, I would get there. On Wednesday afternoon at about 2:30PM, I walked into the hall of miracles. I was asked to help another gentleman make paper cut outs of a family. Yes, God does have a sense of humor! "Really?", I thought. "Okay, God. If this is what you want me to do, then I will honor You by doing it!". I picked up my pair of scissors and began my work. Turns out that the gentleman working with me had also had problems with his eyes, and the Lord taken care of him. He'd had surgery on both of his eyes, and had a wonderful testimony about how God had provided for Him by sending him to the right physicians and surgeons. His vision had been restored and he was grateful to God for taking care of him. I found his words comforting, because I had begun to feel a little uneasy about my vision loss. By the time we finished our project, my new friend and I had shared alot of our personal testimony with each other. We were both edified by this exchange and we prayed for each other as we parted company.
On September 30, I saw the retinal specialist. He told me that i had a type of retinopathy, but that he expected my condition to improve on its own with time. He signed the short-term disability paperwork that I'd given him and told me to come back to see him in seven weeks. So I went home that afternoon, not sure what I would do during the seven weeks that I was at home. Soon, the Lord spoke to my heart and reminded me that the book He'd given me to write in 2006 was still unfinished. That was it. I would use the time at home to complete that book! I got to work on the book, never really giving much attention to the problem with my eye. There were days that I had more difficulty than others, and on those days I didn't do as much work on the computer, but I kept moving forward.
Today, seven weeks later, the vision in my left eye is at least as good as it was before the onset of the problem. In fact, my doctor described the change as "dramatic and amazing". Many of you already know that my book is also complete. I give God all of the glory for both!
Looking back on the past seven weeks, I realized that I might never have completed my book, formed my publishing company, and implemented marketing strategies if I hadn't had the time at home to get it done. I don't believe that God caused my eye problem, but I know that in spite of it all, He was working everything out for my good!
On the third day of my vision loss, I got an email from a woman at my church. She was planning the children's activities for our upcoming week-long Campmeeting (revival) and she wanted to know if I could come by the church on the following Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon to help prepare some of the children's activites. It was the last sentence of her email that got my attention. It said, "Meet me in the Hall of Miracles if you can make it." The Hall of Miracles (HOM) is a large
multi-purpose/activity room in our church, located on the second floor at the top of a spiral staircase. "Meet me in the hall of miracles", I muttered to myself. Surely God knew that I was in no condition to help with a craft activity. After all, I could hardly see out of my left eye! It was then that I saw the email for what it really was. I considered it to be an invitation from God Himself to shift my focus from the problem with my eye to finding out what He wanted me to put my hands to in spite of the eye problem. Instantly, I became excited and could hardly wait for the following Tuesday to arrive.
When Tuesday came, it brought with it a monsoon-like storm that prevented me from being able to drive to the church. I was disappointed, but vowed that if if didn't rain the next day, I would get there. On Wednesday afternoon at about 2:30PM, I walked into the hall of miracles. I was asked to help another gentleman make paper cut outs of a family. Yes, God does have a sense of humor! "Really?", I thought. "Okay, God. If this is what you want me to do, then I will honor You by doing it!". I picked up my pair of scissors and began my work. Turns out that the gentleman working with me had also had problems with his eyes, and the Lord taken care of him. He'd had surgery on both of his eyes, and had a wonderful testimony about how God had provided for Him by sending him to the right physicians and surgeons. His vision had been restored and he was grateful to God for taking care of him. I found his words comforting, because I had begun to feel a little uneasy about my vision loss. By the time we finished our project, my new friend and I had shared alot of our personal testimony with each other. We were both edified by this exchange and we prayed for each other as we parted company.
On September 30, I saw the retinal specialist. He told me that i had a type of retinopathy, but that he expected my condition to improve on its own with time. He signed the short-term disability paperwork that I'd given him and told me to come back to see him in seven weeks. So I went home that afternoon, not sure what I would do during the seven weeks that I was at home. Soon, the Lord spoke to my heart and reminded me that the book He'd given me to write in 2006 was still unfinished. That was it. I would use the time at home to complete that book! I got to work on the book, never really giving much attention to the problem with my eye. There were days that I had more difficulty than others, and on those days I didn't do as much work on the computer, but I kept moving forward.
Today, seven weeks later, the vision in my left eye is at least as good as it was before the onset of the problem. In fact, my doctor described the change as "dramatic and amazing". Many of you already know that my book is also complete. I give God all of the glory for both!
Looking back on the past seven weeks, I realized that I might never have completed my book, formed my publishing company, and implemented marketing strategies if I hadn't had the time at home to get it done. I don't believe that God caused my eye problem, but I know that in spite of it all, He was working everything out for my good!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Will You Sink Or Will You Swim?
As the parent or caregiver of a child(ren) with unique challenges, you will have to make many critically important decisions. Which doctor(s) should you choose? Which course of treatment is best? How should you should approach a particular issue with your child's school? I submit to you, however, that one of the most critical decisions you will make concerning this journey is whether you will sink or swim.
"Sink or swim". It's a short, catchy phrase, but one that is full of meaning. Imagine, if you will, an experienced swimmer who is just about halfway through one of the most grueling races of her career. She'd dutifully prepared for the race and felt sure that she could win it but now, halfway through the race, isn't so sure. She'd underestimated the strength and endurance of the other swimmers and is surprised that many of them are still ahead of her at this halfway point. As her body grows more and more tired, she quickly loses focus and begins to fall behind. "I could just drop out of the race now and be done with all of this", she sighs. Will she allow her dream of victory to "sink" with her decision to quit or will she continue to swim and finish strong?
We, as parents and caregivers, must also decide if we will quit or finish strong. When you begin to feel yourself sinking, try not to thrash about aimlessly. Instead, quiet your thoughts and reach out to God. Ask Him to give you peace for your journey. Ask Him for guidance and a dose of supernatural faith as well. God is a present help and will always be there to come to your aid. Don't lose heart, no matter what the situation looks like! Just keep swimming, knowing that despite what things look like, God always has a plan.
"Sink or swim". It's a short, catchy phrase, but one that is full of meaning. Imagine, if you will, an experienced swimmer who is just about halfway through one of the most grueling races of her career. She'd dutifully prepared for the race and felt sure that she could win it but now, halfway through the race, isn't so sure. She'd underestimated the strength and endurance of the other swimmers and is surprised that many of them are still ahead of her at this halfway point. As her body grows more and more tired, she quickly loses focus and begins to fall behind. "I could just drop out of the race now and be done with all of this", she sighs. Will she allow her dream of victory to "sink" with her decision to quit or will she continue to swim and finish strong?
We, as parents and caregivers, must also decide if we will quit or finish strong. When you begin to feel yourself sinking, try not to thrash about aimlessly. Instead, quiet your thoughts and reach out to God. Ask Him to give you peace for your journey. Ask Him for guidance and a dose of supernatural faith as well. God is a present help and will always be there to come to your aid. Don't lose heart, no matter what the situation looks like! Just keep swimming, knowing that despite what things look like, God always has a plan.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Frustrating Week and Weekend!
Well folks, it's official. Raging hormones + ADHD = FRUSTRATION! I am beginning to realize the impact that changing hormones are having on my daughter. She really struggled to keep it together last week and so did I, though she seemed oblivious to the fact that I was having such a hard time. Perhaps my own hormones were raging a bit as well.....
"Lord, give us what we need to make it through each day. Help us to forgive quickly and love unconditionally just like you do. In Jesus' name, Amen."
"Lord, give us what we need to make it through each day. Help us to forgive quickly and love unconditionally just like you do. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Monday, October 17, 2011
"Oh,The Possibilities!"
"But as it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.
" I Corinthians 2:9-10 (King James Version of the Holy Bible)
When we stop to consider the enormity of our responsibilities as we endeavor to raise and care for our children, our finite minds can often paint a rather bleak and discouraging picture. Not soon after the ink dries on this picture, the "what if" and the "why" questions begin their assult with rapid and unnerving intensity. And then...we remember. We remember that God makes ALL things possible. We remember His promise to keep us in perfect peace if we will keep our minds stayed on him.
What a blessed assurance we have in God! He's promised to never leave or forsake us (or our children), and never means just what it says - NEVER! So when you feel yourself becoming fearful about what the future holds for you and your child, remember that God cares and He loves you both!
" I Corinthians 2:9-10 (King James Version of the Holy Bible)
When we stop to consider the enormity of our responsibilities as we endeavor to raise and care for our children, our finite minds can often paint a rather bleak and discouraging picture. Not soon after the ink dries on this picture, the "what if" and the "why" questions begin their assult with rapid and unnerving intensity. And then...we remember. We remember that God makes ALL things possible. We remember His promise to keep us in perfect peace if we will keep our minds stayed on him.
What a blessed assurance we have in God! He's promised to never leave or forsake us (or our children), and never means just what it says - NEVER! So when you feel yourself becoming fearful about what the future holds for you and your child, remember that God cares and He loves you both!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Eagle's Wings
As parents of differently-abled children, it can be difficult to know when to pull back and "let the chips fall where they may" where they are concerned. We want so much for our children to be successful, that we sometimes offer too much help and support.
Christina entered the 6th grade this year at a local private school. The curriculum used at the school is fast-paced and quite challenging. I was apprehensive about enrolling her at this school in the first place, but realized that the alternative - a public school setting with upwards of 30 children in her classes, simply would not work for her.
At first, Christina struggled to adjust to the newness of her surroundings and the pace at which she was expected to learn. I have to admit that I was absolutely terrified that she would be overwhelmed from the start, and sink into a rut of complacency and despair. However, I soon figured out a way to offer her the right amount of help, mixed with healthy doses of encouragement and a pinch of feigned indifference to her nightly episodes of crying and frustration. To my delight, after only a few weeks, Christina found her inner strength and her self-confidence! Her grades, her mood and her confience have steadily improved since then, and the best part of all is that she knows that she is doing the work herself. Sure, I am a reliable presence for her while she completes her assignments each night. However, she now takes pride in being able to complete as much of her work as possible on her own. I offer her the structure and support that she needs in order to get her work done and she responds to that by putting her best foot forward!
"Thank you Lord for giving Christina the confidence to mount up on eagle's wings, believing that she can soar high above any problems she may encounter with her school lessons. Amen."
Christina entered the 6th grade this year at a local private school. The curriculum used at the school is fast-paced and quite challenging. I was apprehensive about enrolling her at this school in the first place, but realized that the alternative - a public school setting with upwards of 30 children in her classes, simply would not work for her.
At first, Christina struggled to adjust to the newness of her surroundings and the pace at which she was expected to learn. I have to admit that I was absolutely terrified that she would be overwhelmed from the start, and sink into a rut of complacency and despair. However, I soon figured out a way to offer her the right amount of help, mixed with healthy doses of encouragement and a pinch of feigned indifference to her nightly episodes of crying and frustration. To my delight, after only a few weeks, Christina found her inner strength and her self-confidence! Her grades, her mood and her confience have steadily improved since then, and the best part of all is that she knows that she is doing the work herself. Sure, I am a reliable presence for her while she completes her assignments each night. However, she now takes pride in being able to complete as much of her work as possible on her own. I offer her the structure and support that she needs in order to get her work done and she responds to that by putting her best foot forward!
"Thank you Lord for giving Christina the confidence to mount up on eagle's wings, believing that she can soar high above any problems she may encounter with her school lessons. Amen."
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