So, exactly how does the verse go? Is it "...in everything give thanks..." or is it "...for everything give thanks"? I don't have my bible here with me at the moment, but I'm pretty sure that its "in everything give thanks". I have to be honest and tell you that I don't always feel thankful. There, I said it. On nights that homework turns into a 3+ hour ordeal or those mornings when I realize that I've heard myself say "please put on deodorant" at least 10 times, I don't feel thankful. When I was told that my daughter had autism, I didn't feel thankful. When strangers in stores and restaurants gave us angry stares because my daughter was too loud or too busy for their taste, I didn't feel thankful. Tired, frustrated, irritated and discouraged would be more fitting descriptions of how I felt at those moments.
I've come to realize that God expects me to cycle through emotions like these because I am human. Because I know that He loves and understands me better than I do myself, I've let myself off the hook for having these feelings at times. Cycling through strong emotions like anger, fear, sadness and joy is a normal part of being a parent/caregiver of a child with a disability. In fact, many of us will cycle through these emotions over and over again as our children grow up. At each age, our children will meet important milestones in their development but with those successes come reminders of the milestones that they have not reached or may never reach. Every time that this happens many parents cycle through the emotions of fear, anger, hopelessness and sadness again and again. Knowing in our hearts that all things are possible with God doesn't mean that we won't feel a twinge of emotions like these every now and then. What's important, however, is that we don't allow emotions like these to overtake us and dictate how we interact with and plan for our children.
One of the keys to successful "faith-parenting", is finding things about your child and your family to celebrate and be thankful for. Thought not always obvious, there is always something to be thankful for. Maybe its the way your child smiled at you when you hugged him or her goodnight. Maybe its the reassuring hug that your spouse gave you without you having to utter a word about how tough your day had been. Maybe you're thankful because your child is finally sleeping through the night. For me, some of my simplest joys have come from "the little things" that have happened in our lives. For example, I can remember being very thankful that my daughter had lost her fear of other children and was beginning to make friends in pre-school. I can also remember being VERY thankful for a "Pat the Bunny" videotape that we'd checked out from our local library. Who knew that it would put an end to the daily 2-3 hour tantrums we'd become accustomed to when she was young? We decided to purchase the videotape eventually and I think that we played it until it literally fell apart :)! My daughter loved the songs on that tape and would ask us to play the tape for her at least twice every day. We were all too happy to oblige!
We can use our faith to continue to give God thanks for all that He has done, in spite of any difficulties that we may be going through. I've often prayed and told God that even though I couldn't see how He was working things out for my good, I was thankful that in the midst of whatever I (or my family) was going through, He was still there. So while I may not have been expressing thanks for the actual circumstances, I was thankful for the blessed assurance from God that He is an ever-present help in the time of trouble.
Faith believes and expects the impossible!
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